Clangs echoed through the cavern, as two figures covered in black clothes circled each other, swords pointed towards one another. "Keep your sword up!" a clear voice shouted above the noise, the voice did not come from one of the figures but somewhere in the corners of the cavern where there was no light. One of the figures charged at the other, and they clashed together, the way they moved they were both obviously girls. The girl who had charged knocked the other's sword clear out of her hand and it skidded across the cave floor. "Stay focused!" came the voice again, "Hold on" the girl without the sword shot back, she dove to the side towards the sword. She snatched the sword while in a summersault and stood holding it high above her cloaked head. A laugh could be heard from her hood as she did it "You won't win" the other girl said snarling. "Come at me than" the first girl mocked her, with a yell the other charged, the first girl laughed again and flipped around with incredible agility. The two girls battled sword against sword, they appeared to be equally matched as not one of them could get the upper hand.
But after a while the girl who had charged started to grow tired, and soon the other pinned her to the ground with her sword against her throat.
"Do it" the pinned girl gasped.
The one on top rolled her glowing green eye's "Relax, come on get up" she said sheathing her sword and standing, the other girl sat up fast her sword had flew across the cavern leaving her defenseless. The sitting girl's cowl had come off revealing her red hair, and black eye's, she was young maybe only the age of twelve.
"Good, good my daughter" came the voice from before in the shadows, a dark figure stepped into the light of the torches. It was a woman she had no cowl over her head so they could see her face, the standing girl knelt down on one knee before her, bowing her head. "Never show mercy to your opponent!" she continued, "Tomorrow and on you shall train with Kinz, and Galen".
The kneeling girl nodded, in a wisp of smoke the woman disappeared, when she was gone the girl sighed and stood, than she offered her hand to the red haired girl. The red head swatted her hand away and glared. "Get away from me, I don't need your help, I'm fine" she said. The standing girl took her hand away, "Fine I was just trying to help you" rolling her eye's she stalked away from the beaten girl, back into the darkness.
A fan, most certainly. I love how you start the fight scenes. They are difficult to write. My one comment is try to slow down the writing so that it makes the scene feel longer. Repeat clashes, certain images. Drag it out for the characters so that reader feels it, too. Otherwise it seems a little quick. Well done!
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